When will it be over?

Really though WHEN will it be over? WHEN will I be in control of myself.
I really thought , I just did, that I was done with it, done with all this going back and forth like a pendulum, one minute want it and the next minute hate it, this freakin dependency and the crazy itch i get in my mind when I dont hear back from you even though I just cut you down! Thought I was done with it all!
Guess I was wrong.
Hate it.
Hate myself for being this way, this impulsive and not in control.